I had a frightening dream this morning. In the dream, I saw myself asleep in bed, and deeply disturbed by a reoccurring nightmare, always lucid, but nevertheless horrifying. I woke up and found the sun had filled the entire room, and I found out that I was going to die alone. The moment this realization hit me, I forced myself to escape from this imagination that was nothing more than my own creation. Overwhelming panic paralyzed my body as I opened my eyes and regained my breath. However, my mind refused to let go of the vivid image of me, in different beds, many in the cold hotel rooms I once rested in, some belonged to the homes I grew up in,not long ago. Some of the times I was alone, curled up in a ball, eyes shut only to save myself from the darkness. (what I thought I feared the most) In the other rooms, I was with people I no longer had contact with, they floated gracefully and effortlessly in the air and simply, stared at me, and said nothing. And each time I woke up instantly, only when I heard someone calling my name, all those names, all me. As if there was one identical message hidden in the nightmare or spoken by all the people I knew in those rooms who were guarding me. Somehow, I thought I was going to die alone. I didn't accept this understanding , I couldn't. Now when I think about it, I'm no longer haunted by what I saw. I was at peace with myself, and open minded, as if there's no longer anything to hold me down. I am no longer afraid of the things that I'm unable to control, and I no longer felt the need to be protected and kept away from what I feared the most.
Posts
